From one of those nights

So I thought to relive one of those nights from my childhood. So here is the small story. I was never thin in my entire life; I always used to be a chubby kid and have been a foodie since the day I was born; lol.

So this food love I couldn’t resist back then and now as well, but now I am more conscious about my eating habits and what I eat particularly but only when I am on diet. So today all of a sudden I recalled my old self, my childhood when I used to be like 15-16-17(age) I guess. I still remember I was in high school and I used to love to eat a lot and watch television. My whole days used to spend on just two of these and the rest of the time studying. I exactly know the reason why I had become so fat. I was too young to understand eating healthy and fitness and all the terms. So when my parents go to sleep I used to lock their door from the outside and turn on the gas and peel off the potatoes and just boil them with the salt and, then just eat it while watching tv. I still remember I used to like love stories a lot I have always been like this. I used to love those romantic daily soaps and I used to watch them on repeat mode. At that time every serial had been telecast twice a day or sometimes thrice a day and I used to watch my favorites on and on. I used to eat Maggie this way a lot, returning from the tuitions I used to bring Maggie home and hide them. It was almost about twice or thrice in a week. Well, I exactly don’t remember it but I bet I might have eaten more than this but not less, haha. This is too at night when everyone was asleep. And whenever anyone woke up and knock on the door I got afraid and hid it or else I used to throw it in the washroom and, you know what the reason I used to make staying late at night, for studying, haha. So today when I was watching a movie and there was some scene going on in which they were talking about some random thing from the past and I just remembered what I used to be like. Just thought of that brought a big smile to my face and soothed my soul like anything and I made the same boiled potatoes and ate it.

I guess we, ourselves are the ones who could motivate, ourselves. Whether it was a bad habit you used to have and have learned something from it or it was a good thing that you might have forgotten and you again want to get back to that self of yours. You know this just clicked in my mind that in the childhood or till the 10 th class I guess life was so pretty simple and everything used to be about just you. You got sad because of what?- Just because you got fewer marks? Mumma scold you something and got angry with you? You were not having enough toys to play with? We used to become sad about these stupid kinds of stuff which might be huge at that moment; but in our 20s when we come in contact with others, you fall in love, you fall out of love, you seek validation from others, you fear society, you restrict yourself from the things you love to do due to judgmental fear and we roam around in this circle only. We feel so heavy that neither we can carry our weight of thoughts nor can throw away those imaginary loads from our shoulders and just fly like we used to be in our childhood.

In childhood, it was all about us, ourselves, and the whole world used be roam around us, and in adulthood, we just think it’s all about us but it is all about others. Maturity seems more immature. We are told to be in a certain way, to behave in a certain way according to the situation, among the certain people try to fit in being someone else which we don’t realize then but now we do, we see those stupid acts as a sign of maturity but, does it? Seriously? Let’s just try to remember how it used to feel when you didn’t understand societal norms or any pressure and you were just into yourself, for yourself, and you will know that’s what matters eventually. And I guess once you know the taste, how amazing it feels you would never want to be in your adulthood again.

 This is what real maturity is, this is what matters, and this is what we all are meant for, I suppose.

                                                                                                                -One of the tales from childhood.