Let's dissolve

I just say I generally fall for a person's flaws but do I really ? or I just have a perception of two messy people coming together and creating a beautiful life together. The other one wants to clear your mess but can't, just you can. He will always be there as your support no matter what happens or what mess your life will become, he will always be there. I have never imagined a simple relationship. I always have imagined messy relationships with lots of drama and passion and emotional investment. In that crying for each other, fight like anything, and still manage to stay with each other at the end of the day. I always wanted a deep dive love in a relationship like we do in skydiving to fall from the maximum height we can reach with the leap of faith to deep scuba diving as deep as you can go.

To explore each and everything into them from toe to head, from every layer of them being and heart to the skin to know every flaw.

What makes him cry, what brings a smile to his face, when he fakes, what things he likes to show off, what scares him the most, what he fears the most to do, what taste he loves, what makes him angry or which thing he hates the most, what affects him deeply and try to pretend as nothing happens, what activity makes him calm or what brings adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin rush into his body, what makes his heart skip a beat and when does his heartbeat increases, what makes him sob and how he loves, does he like humour or is he interested in politics, does he want to play or just a passionate about watching. What curves he gets when he smiles and how many times does he swipe his tears when he cries. what hand gestures he makes when he does different things and how his body language is when he presents something, at what point he has trouble in communication or which thing he mispronounces and I get a chance to correct him, what irritates him the most, or what he loves the most, which music soothes his soul and which lyrics he would dedicate to me and on what song he would imagine us dancing together, what dance moves he does perfectly or for what he doesn't even dare to try. How drama king he is and how he runs away from the real drama, how he wants to stay connected with everyone and still manage to be introverted, what position he feels most comfortable in and when does he gets awkward, how he sometimes misbehaves with someone and when does he help someone. From seeing him as a fitness freak to seeing him becoming a couch potato. How many times he swipes his hand in his head to correct his hair and what fragrances he loves the most, seeing him from being the best version of himself to the worst version of himself, when does he want to get intimate to when does he needs his own time, I want to know him more than he knows himself. I want to heal all your scars.

These are some lines which I would like to do for him...

"As if you were a mythical thing,

Like you were a trophy or a champion ring,

There was one prize I'd cheat to win,

The more that you say, the less I know,

Wherever you stray I follow,

I'm begging for you to take my hand,

Wreck my plans, That's my man,

You know that my train could take you home,

Anywhere else is hollow."

I want him to make me his the one. when he has something new or something bad I wanna be the first person he wants to tell, when he gets angry I want to be the one who only makes him calm, I want to see him cry and wanna cry with him and be the shoulder for him, when he falls apart I want to get back that each part of him that has fallen apart and made him stronger than ever before. whenever he gets panicked or feels numb I want to be his first person to hug and soothe his soul. I want to be the person who increases his heartbeat and gets back to normal. I want to be the person for him whose day starts and ends with me. I want to be the person with whom you share everything and anything whether it's good or bad, best or the worst. I want to be the person he tells his mistakes and his proud moments. I want every right on him and wanna be the right by him. I want to be the person he tells about his first crush to how he got his first heartbreak. I want to be the person he asks each morning what clothes he should wear and what clothes make him look most handsome to the dumbest. I want to be the person with whom he would feel the most comfortable while doing the weirdest activity. I want to be the person with whom he wants to build a career and wants to go every place. I want to be the person whom he loves the most and I want to be the person without whom he would never imagine his life. I wanna be the person for whom he is the surest about I want to be the person for whom he would never doubt.

I want us to cook food together to go office together. I want us to wash dishes together to dance and sing together. I want us to explore every place together to spend the weekend at home without doing any activities in bed together. I want us to show off each other to get them to remain quiet so no one can notice us and we can skip the party together. I want us to create a family drama together to solve every problem together. I want us to tell each other about each other's mistakes and if you don't listen then scold each other to get there. I want us to cry for each other with each other together and share the most memorable laughs. I want us to go to the temple together to the beach and hills together. I want us to do the weirdest things together to at normal with each other. I want us to see the worst phases of life together to the most beautiful phases together. I want us to keep talking the whole night to stay quiet and still be comfortable with each other. I want us to understand each other without saying anything at all. I want us to understand each other's emotions just by looking in the eyes. I want us to make a beautiful path together from our younger selves to our older selves. I want us to dissolve in each other that people can see us as one.

This is the song that would perfectly describe my feelings if I want someone in my life then he has to be like this...

"When I hear your voice, I know I'm finally free"

The trust I want in you is like...

"When you lift me up, I know that I'll never fall,

The comfort I want with you is like...

"I can speak to you by saying nothing at all"

I want us to be passionate about each other like this...

"I think I see your face in every place that I go,

I try to hide it, but I know it's gonna show,

Every single night, I find it harder to sleep,

Cause I need you here with me,

Everyday,

You're saying the words that I want you to say,

There's a pain in my heart and it won't go away,

Now I know I'm falling in deep,

Cause I need you HERE WITH ME."

I want you to grab my hand when we cross the road and I want you to make me feel like a small baby. I want you to bear all my tantrums whenever I through at you because you will be the only one who'll ever see me doing tantrums. I want you to get me when everyone else misunderstands me. I want you to see every colour of me which no one sees and never gets to know. I want you to see my inside calmness that no one can ever see yet. I want you to dig deeper inside me and help me to heal all my scars. I want you to make me feel secure. I want you to listen to every deepest and darkest secret of me and still accept me with each of them. I want you to feel proud of me and I want you to support me at each step of my life. I want you to adore me when I get sick. I want you to clap on my victories. I want you as my dependent and I want you to make me capable of being independent. I want you to shout at me and I want you to keep quiet when I get angry. I want you to make me feel jealous by stalking other girls and I want you to make me feel wanted. I want you to ruin me with your love and gifts. I want you to dedicate each part of yourself to I want you to take me as your better half. I want you to see me as the most beautiful girl to I want you to make me feel the strongest. I want you to make me part of your family to create a family together.