Soon turning to be 27

Me and Dhrupal (a friend from college) often used to say we will be married till the 25 and we were too firm on this opinion of ours. Not only that we used to judge our professors who were not married at the age of 26-27 that why they are not married yet or maybe they haven’t found the right one yet. I am telling this because just yesterday I was sitting with my parents and we were discussing that next month they will be completing their 28 th wedding anniversary and soon after that we have realized that I am gonna be 27 in the coming September. I was like whattttttttt, though I knew this deep down but; there’s this thing all of sudden you realize something that you already know and then there is no end of thoughts.

So how does it feel like to be turning 27? When I was 22 or 23, I had plans for my future and they were so firm that I was like life will be sorted after 25, both personal and professional. But here I am still figuring out both. I still don’t know what I want from my life and which career I wanna move forward with. And I still haven’t found out my the one, I even don’t know there’s going to be someone or no one at all. As I have always been saying that is not the main focus of my life at all. But since I live in a society full of married people I do not find any scope to escape this trap and somewhere between this trap I was also wanting someone to be there, you know just sometimes when you feel too heavy inside and just wanna hug someone who hugs you back even tighter. Yes, I used to feel this sometimes back in my early 20s. In the journey of these 27 years, I have experienced a few invited heartbreaks and many more things came along. And now at this age neither I have an urge to be with someone nor able to see myself with someone. The more time I am getting the more I am becoming independent emotionally and mentally. More of that I have realized there's no age for doing something new or starting something or even getting married. Everything has its own pace and place in life and it depends upon the individual and their life, their choices. I am becoming more clear about my wants and gaining more focus on my life. I am not certain about many things in my life and am always ready to explore something new, so never know this philosophy of life might get changed tomorrow. What I know now is this. 

As I belong to a lower-middle-class family struggle has always been my partner, it never leaves me alone at all. Whenever I think about why I am like this, I mean so ambitious, courageous, optimistic, reliable, mentally and emotionally strong I would like to give credit to my family background. What if I belonged to a rich family maybe I was not like this, maybe I was tender, too soft to break by touch, not ambitious enough to even earn enough for my bread and butter. Maybe I wasn’t even writing this if I belonged to a rich family, no doubts there are so many people out there who come from extremely high-class families and still wanna do things on their own and are ambitious and courageous enough. Exceptions always will be there. But still, I find differences between them. One thing is they never have to worry about financial crisis what if I fail, whose gonna pay rent or how would we manage our monthly expenses. And this is the freedom they have got whereas if I talk about the people like me, we never have that freedom to be failed. And trust me it does make a huge difference between our scenarios, our life, and whatnot. My apology if I said something wrong because I have never been in the expensive shoes, so I don’t know what struggles they are facing. But this is the reason I guess that most of the rich kids don’t fail because they don’t have that pressure or risks that we have. And due to these risks and fear, we are stuck in life and never able to do something without any fear. We always have to walk in limited pathways. I know only we can make these pathways as broader as we want and endless but still, something is always going to be there.

So, yes 27! In these years as I have been growing up, I have been learning these things and have realized that the more experience you gain the more you become independent. You gain more freedom of your thoughts. I used to be a conservative mind back in my early 20s. I always act mature and take decisions as per what’s right and what’s wrong. I used to judge people a lot on their actions and maturities. If I got married in my early 20s I won’t be like this. I would never have thought about all this, probably I might have been busy with the family pieces of stuff and that trap you know. But as time passed I have realized so many things and my has mind changed completely. Now I act without fear of any judgments and that is the biggest freedom I have got in these years. I have stopped judging people based on their behavior at a certain age. I have stopped seeing what’s right and wrong. The boundaries of my have been erased. These are just a few things there are so many like these. 

Though I am not settled at the age of 27, I am content with whatever I have now. I don’t know what is there next for me and I never restrict myself to welcome anything new in this life journey. Maybe things are different for me has written.

Do I have regrets in my life?

• A lot, there’s no limit.

Am I stuck with those regrets?

• A big NO, I regret things, I realize it and then I move forward.

Maybe in life people like me have lots of regrets and there’s nothing wrong with that I guess. As life is uncertain so do we, we don’t know what’s there next. So having regrets is not a bad thing, I guess. Human tendencies. And people who don’t have any a great salute to them.

Let’s sum up what has changed, what I have gained and lost in these years.

Changes?

 

• Nothing, to be honest, still standing there with empty hands, the same financial crisis, the struggle of losing and gaining weight, stuck in what I want in life or what I wanna do.

What I have gained?

• Life worth experiences,
• Freedom of thoughts,
• Freedom of being non-judgemental,
• Free from judgments,
• Stronger, more courageous,
• Becoming more and more myself,
• Independence,
• Better knowledge to understand life philosophy,
• A better version of myself.
• New passions, new hobbies
• More confidence
• More beauty
• A better vision
• More self-love

What I have lost?

• Nothing.